The world loves to make fun of overinvolved parents. It's a topic that's universally humorous and even lazy, type B parents like me can relate. Who hasn't found themselves shoving a kid aside to "help" them with a project? We really can't help it! Our babies are our everything and they need to know it!
Sometimes, though, we take it too far.
You Hover—And Never Leave
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You drop your kindergartner off at school in the morning and end up staying until lunchtime. You eventually wander out into the world, covered in glue and germs, unsure of how you lost your entire morning and worried that your baby won't be able to survive without you for the afternoon. After all, the teacher has a busy classroom and your little sweetheart just loves having you there!
You dance along to talent show routines. Remember Regina George's mom during the holiday concert in "Mean Girls?" That's you, girlfriend. You're such a pro at shaking your hips to the routine, you can do it with a smile while recording your kiddo on stage. Sure, you feel bad for all the parents and grandparents sitting behind you, but they should have gotten there earlier if they wanted to see the show.
You crash your kid's slumber party. Cool moms let the kids stay up late and eat lots of junk food, but even cooler moms roll out their sleeping bag on the living room floor like the kids. Don't worry, your child is totally kidding when she says, "Uh, Mom? You aren't sleeping in here with us, right?"
You know all the Pokemon lingo and you spend your lunch hour looking on eBay for rare Pokemon cards. You've stopped talking to the parent of the child who convinced yours to trade a coveted Pikachu EX for a mediocre Flabebe. How dare they?
You Live Vicariously Through Them—You Are One Entity
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You say things like, "We won the game," or "We had a great season," even though the only time you stepped foot on the field was to deliver a forgotten water bottle. You did cheer more than the other parents, though, so that certainly contributed to the team's success.
When your daughter is Facetiming with a friend, you spend more time in front of the screen than your child. How else will you get the details on exactly who told Sienna that Margo said that Mason told Jacob he likes Anna? It's important to stay on top of your child's life—and it's even more important to know who the cool kids are so you can remember when you make their birthday party guest list for them.
Everyone thinks your child has impeccable handwriting because you still write every thank you card, birthday card and Valentine's Day card for him, even though he's twelve. And that science fair he has coming up? Let's just say his project will be pre-tty impressive.
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