The whimsical, lyrical writings of Dr. Seuss have inspired generations of children to read. In his fifty years of writing children's books the good doctor tackled everything from equality, to the environment, to war. But, even though he was an avid walker and loved swimming in the La Jolla, California ocean that he could see from his home, he never directly took on fitness.
The closest he ever came was the in his final book Oh, The Places You'll Go! which speaks to many issues athletes come across. "You won't lag behind, because you'll have the speed. You'll pass the whole gang and soon you'll take the lead...Expect when you don't. Because, sometimes, you won't."
In honor of Dr. Seuss, who told us that, "bang ups and hang ups can happen to you," I humbly present what he might say if he was just waking up at dawn for a training workout.
Thanks to Kim Matsumoto for her Seussian art.
More: How to Get Your Triathlon Groove Back
Seuss' Excuses: Motivation to Get Ready for Race Day
Training is out of the question today
There is nothing you can do or say
To make me gear up, put on my shoes
I've got those so tired training blues
Besides, my knee doesn't feel quite right
I think my goggles are much too tight
My tubes are flat, I have no spare
I lost the pump I use for air
My cleats won't clip, they slip and slide
There's just no way that I can ride
The roads are wet, it looks like rain
I may fall and hurt my brain
My hammy's strained, it kinda hurts
To get off the couch might make it worse
I'd go swim, but the pool is cold
I think my cap is growing mold
The sun is setting, I don't run at night
I really have given up the fight
The smell of my shorts sure packs a clout
Just a whiff would knock you out
My tummy felt kind of weird all day
Running GI distress is not OK
