15 Thoughts Cyclists Have While Out on a Ride

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Cycling can be a lonely sport, but that doesn't mean we don't have conversations—even if they're only with ourselves. What do you think about when you're out on a ride?
Awful Energy Bars
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"Wow. This new energy bar tastes like a mouth full of dirt."
When Animals Attack
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"I should really remember to keep my mouth shut on long descents. Remember that time you swallowed the bee?"
Idiots With Glass Bottles
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"People who throw glass bottles in bike lanes are idiots."
Traffic That Feels a Lot Like Playing Frogger
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"Why does it seem like all the cars on the road want to kill me today?"
Training on Hills
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"Why do I seek out hills and hate them once I start going up?"
Insane Bike Noise
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"That noise from my bike coming from God knows where is going to drive me insane."
Shorts That Don't Fit
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"These shorts looked awesome online, but they really suck right now."
Strangers That Like to Draft
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"Why the hell is this stranger sitting on my wheel? Have I suddenly involved myself in a race that I'm unaware of?"
Extreme Fatigue That Leads to Deceit
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"I am so freaking tired. Maybe I should fake a double flat and get my wife (spouse) to come pick me up."
Hunger Pains
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"Blueberry pancakes slathered in butter and syrup sound awesome right now. But so do brownies, a turkey sandwich and two large pizzas."
Hunger Pains Continued
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"And a beer."
The Joy of the Outdoors After Winter
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"I should really make more time to ride outside. The indoor trainer sucks."
One of the Worst Ways to Crash
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"When was the last time I checked my handlebar bolts? It would be a bad way to end a ride if those came loose. Remember George Hincapie in Paris Roubaix?"
Spit That Won't Fly Far Enough
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"Why can't I spit further than the side of my face?"
Strava Versus Obeying the Law
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"I wanted to come to a complete stop at that stop sign. Really, I did. But Strava makes me do all kinds of bad things on a bike."
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