You Know You’re a Cyclist When…

Elizabeth Grimsley
Written by
Listen, if you’re immersed in the sport, you likely understand the intricacies and shared oddities inherent to cycling/cyclists. Riding more miles than driving and having the most awkward tans may seem totally weird to non-cyclists, but these are the things that make us, us.
You have two bikes in your living room.
1 of 32
And four more in the garage. And another on the bike rack of your car...
Those bikes are worth more than your car.
1 of 32
Each.
You have tanned arms and legs.
1 of 32
And pale everything else.
You've forgotten to unclip at a stoplight and fallen on your face.
1 of 32
You're not a cyclist without a little embarrassment once in a while, right?
You walk into a bike shop and leave with stuff you didn't even come for.
1 of 32
Depends on your definition of "need."
The majority of your wardrobe is Lycra.
1 of 32
What do you mean this isn't appropriate for my sister's wedding?
You shout "car back" even when just walking down the street.
1 of 32
And all your friends move.
You can't remember the last time you had actual body hair.
1 of 32
The good ol' days.
You think hairy legs in general look weird.
1 of 32
Do you even cycle, bro?
You use hand signals even when driving your car.
1 of 32
Old habits die hard?
The weather app is the most important one on your phone.
1 of 32
A headwind in every direction.
You ride more miles than you drive.
1 of 32
Keeping it lean and green.
You constantly wonder what it would be like to ride in all the places you go.
1 of 32
Should have brought the bike along.
You can't find jeans with a small enough waist but large enough legs.
1 of 32
#Quadzilla
Your answer to how your weekend was is always about cycling.
1 of 32
That's why your coworker asked, right?
Snot rockets are second nature.
1 of 32
Fingers crossed you don't get a runny nose in any important meetings.
You check out everyone else's bike when you ride by.
1 of 32
Or how big their calf muscles are.
You have an automatic response for when your significant other asks if you really need that bike.
1 of 32
Or likely multiple responses.
When you crash, the first thing you do is check to see if your bike is OK.
1 of 32
It's worth the most, after all.
Carbo loading means drinking beer.
1 of 32
#BeerWatts
You grocery shop based on what will fit in your jersey pockets.
1 of 32
Gotta stay fueled on those long rides.
You lose touch with what's happening in all other sports.
1 of 32
If it's not on two wheels, is it even a sport to begin with?
Your NBC Gold subscription is more important than your Netflix subscription.
1 of 32
And more expensive, too.
When someone mentions an upcoming holiday, you assume they mean the Spring Classics.
1 of 32
Flanders, Roubaix, Liege-Bastogne-Liege. The office will be closed, right?
You become fluent in French three weeks out of every year.
1 of 32
Chapeau, am I right?!
You hoard dollar bills so you're always prepared in the event of a flat.
1 of 32
Get your mind out of the gutter...
You select detergent with no scent so you don't smell like a dryer sheet on the group ride.
1 of 32
So fresh and so clean!
Your laundry room is filled with cycling kits that are air drying.
1 of 32
Wash on delicate, hang to dry. ALWAYS.
You've entirely forgotten what body lotion is, but you're stocked up on chamois butter for the next 7 months.
1 of 32
There is no situation more dire than running out of chamois butter.
You've turned around on a ride because your Garmin died.
1 of 32
If it didn't Strava, it didn't happen.
You've called someone out on Strava for a questionable KOM.
1 of 32
Did someone forget to turn their Garmin off?
1 of 32